It's only 3 and a half months since I moved here, and in some ways it's almost like I never existed! It's quite upsetting sometimes, because although I was the one who left, I have been in touch with everyone multiple times since I got to the US. I realize that I have a lot more time on my hands than my friends who are working full-time, and I fully appreciate that people have things going on in their lives. I'm not expecting people to respond to my emails immediately, I'm not unreasonable! But when you've sent 3 or 4 emails over a period of time, and got no response whatsoever, it starts to grate on you.
One of my "friends" who I met up with a few days before leaving the UK insisted that she would keep in touch, and said that I should re-join Facebook so it would be easier. After arriving in the US, I did get back on FB - I thought my friend was right, it would be easier. Well, since I arrived here, I've sent this friend at least 3 emails, including one with some of our wedding photos, and messaged her on FB - have I heard anything back? In a word, no. I saw her on Skype recently, and decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and talk to her on there. She told me that she'd seen our wedding photos on FB and they were really nice, and never once acknowledged any of my attempts at communication. Then the whole conversation turned into a proof-reading session of a job application she was doing... I couldn't help but think that she was just using me. Maybe I'm being harsh, I don't know. That's just the way it seemed.
One of my other friends, who I've been friends with since the age of 4 or 5, keeps in touch sometimes but is so unreliable it's crazy! She'll tell me she'll be on Skype so we can catch up and then she won't show. We were supposed to talk a couple of days ago and I got an email not long before saying that it would have to be the next day, so I said that would be OK and told her what time I would be online. I didn't get a reply so I assumed that was fine for her, but when the time came she was nowhere to be seen. I stayed on for over an hour and she never showed. I thought that maybe today I would get an email apology or something, but no. Nice, huh? It just makes me feel like crap when people do stuff like that.
Even my own cousin has been terrible at getting in touch! He didn't even send us a card when we got married, despite the fact that he was in the US at the time and it would have cost all of 88 cents to send one! I thought that was a bit crappy, really. He called a week after the wedding, but we haven't spoken since. I've sent him 2 emails asking him when a good time would be for me to call him, because he works strange shifts so I don't want to call when he might be sleeping or whatever. He replied to my first email, saying he was on holiday so it would have to be when he got home. He was only away for a week, so he's been home a while now. It's been a week since I sent the second one and still I've heard nothing back. I just don't get it. It's rude, isn't it, to just ignore someone?
Now I just feel like not contacting anyone, because to be honest I don't want to have to deal with this crap any longer. I think I've made more than a reasonable effort to stay in touch with everyone, nobody can turn around and say I didn't try.
I spent a small fortune sending lots of Christmas cards to friends and family in the UK. I'm pretty sure we won't get many back, based on how people have been since I left. Only 2 of my friends so far have sent us cards, and it's only 10 days until Christmas. I do realize that it's a little bit more effort to send mail internationally, of course, but if people are true friends then surely they could make the effort? I mailed all of mine at the end of November to make sure they got there in time, and the few people I've heard from received them within about a week.
The reason I'm writing this stuff here is that I don't really want to confront people or tell them how much they've let me down. I've decided it's probably better to keep a dignified silence on the matter. I could do what a lot of people do and post some passive aggressive status message on FB, but I really don't see the point. I'll just leave it, and not contact those people who can't be bothered with me. It'll be interesting to see when, if ever, they contact me for a change.
Maybe when you emigrate you find out who your true friends are.
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