"Hey, what happened to you on Friday? I waited on Skype for half an hour but didn't see you!
Hope you're ok." [read: Huh, you messed me around again. What's your excuse this time?]
I got a reply later in the day, which basically said this:
"I'm so sorry, I fell asleep after dinner. I'm rubbish aren't I? :-( [Yes, very. Consistently rubbish in fact, to the point where I can't be bothered with you right now despite our 23 year friendship]
I've been to London this weekend... [I didn't even really read the rest of that - I don't care, you could have at least apologized before I asked you what happened!]
I'll get on Skype tomorrow night after work, I'll even set a reminder on my phone!" [Wait, you'll even try to remember?! Oh no, I couldn't ask that much of you, really! Don't be silly!]
I wasn't sure how to reply to that, because I was still kinda mad about the whole thing seeing as she consistently lets me down. So after thinking about it a while, today I replied to that email. I didn't address any of the "apology" stuff - I wasn't about to tell her it's fine, because frankly it really isn't fine at all. Once would be alright - repeated occasions of her flaking on me are not fine! I just said that this week is a bit crazy, I have my AOS interview and we just got another pug. I said, "Maybe we can talk sometime next week" - although I doubt it very much, because even if I make plans with her, I think we're all aware that the chances of those plans coming together are approximately 10% right now.
Our mutual friend, R, says I'm too nice to her and I should tell her how rude she's being. She said: "The way T is, is rubbish and down right rude. Who does she think she is? I think the next time you speak you need to make it clear that you're angry about it or she'll keep doing it. She's taking you for granted."
To be honest, I couldn't agree more. I don't really want to have a confrontation about it, but I don't want it to keep happening. Now it's got to the point where I don't even want to make plans with her because it's pointless and all it does is annoy me more when she doesn't show. Maybe R is right when she says I'm too nice to T - nothing will change if I don't say anything, will it? She just expects me to be available whenever she dictates, and then she doesn't show up herself. At least if she would apologize within a reasonable amount of time, it wouldn't be as bad. I shouldn't have to go fishing for answers. Two days was plenty of time for her to send me a quick message explaining. A couple of months back, she did the same thing and I refrained from getting in touch with her - I wanted to see how long it would take her to apologize. Answer: 5 days! This, from the person who's "always connected" because she has an iPhone. The fact that it would be so easy for her to just get in touch makes it all the worse, doesn't it?
On this note, how about my Dad? Well, he still hasn't called me. He was meant to 2 friggin' weeks ago. He emailed me on Saturday to tell me he's getting a rescue dog. I emailed back, saying that's funny because we'd just got our rescue pug. He knew nothing of the possibility of us adopting another pug, because he hadn't kept his word and called me. I also put this in the email:
"I thought you were going to call me last week? Give me a call when you get a chance."
He replied again, but no mention of why he hasn't called or even if he will call. So, I'm still not calling him. He can afford to give me a call every other week at least, it's not like I'm expecting to speak to him daily for goodness' sake. Since I moved to the US 5 months ago, I've grown really tired of many of my so-called relationships with people back in the UK being so one-sided, with most people making little to no effort to keep in touch with me. The worst offenders? My Dad, T and my cousin. Funny how I still haven't heard anything from him. Funny also how he was on Skype a little while ago while I was on, and I typed a couple of messages to him with no response yet again. Yet he has the audacity to send me a Skype message when I'm offline, when he knows I'm offline, saying he hasn't seen me on there for ages! I guess you haven't checked your inbox for at least 3 months, then - if you did, you'd see about 4 emails from me, one from the other day saying that I've been emailing you and heard nothing back since November.
Maybe it's time to cut some people out of my life, if all they do is cause me hurt. I don't want to do that, but how much more should I really take? I mean, I've tried and tried, and what's the point? It really does upset me sometimes how people who are supposedly meant to care about me just clearly don't give a fuck. If they do, they have a very strange way of showing it. How long does it really take to reply to an email? How difficult is it to pick up the damn phone and dial my number? Why make plans with me and repeatedly allow them to fall through, leaving me sitting here like a fucking idiot? I don't understand these people at all.
I was thinking about the whole thing with my cousin... how I've always gone out of my way to see him and his family, how I spent a pretty penny on his and his wife's wedding gifts, how I bought loads of nice gifts for their baby when he was born in March last year, how I took them out for a pre-baby meal. When hubby and I got married in October, did I get so much as a card from them? Nope. What made it even worse is that they were actually in Florida at the time, and they could have bought and sent a card for less than $3. Really, it was too much effort? I can tell you now, if it was my cousin who had emigrated I would have sent a nice card at least. Maybe that means I'm a mug, then? When it's their baby boy's first birthday next month, I will probably go to the trouble of buying him a nice card and mailing it. Maybe what I should do, if I haven't heard from my cousin by then (which seems pretty likely at this rate) is write him a letter and put it in with the card. I could write that it would've been nice if he could've bothered to at least attempt to keep in touch with me, given that nowadays it's not exactly hard. I know he's on his computer a lot, because he's often on Skype and it tells you if the person is on their cell phone (which it doesn't say for him). Not one reply to any of my messages on there, and no replies to emails for 3 months? Shoddy.
I only wish it didn't bother me so much. Perhaps I ought to just move on, I have a new life here with my wonderful, gorgeous husband, our two lovely pug girls and not to forget our fishy! I didn't want to lose touch with people back in the UK, and I tried my best to make sure that didn't happen, but there's only so much one person can do. How many emails should you send with no response whatsoever, before you give up? I think I've reached my limit with my cousin now. As for T, well, I don't know. I don't hate her or anything, but I hate the way she's been treating me. I just don't get it - it's like she has no regard for me whatsoever. I know I'm not working, but that doesn't mean that everyone can just mess me around. My time is still important, and I do have things to do. Now we have Gracie, I have more responsibilities with the pugs - feeding, potty breaks, walking, grooming. Gracie is difficult with food at the moment, she has to really be enticed to eat. I have to feed Suzie, then put her in the office with hubby while I feed Gracie in the hallway with no doors open so she's pretty much stuck there with me (otherwise she just goes off). She's getting better but it's been a little stressful. I know she's still adjusting to us and she's probably still missing her original owner(s) so she's probably sad. I can completely understand that, of course. I expected it, but I still need for her to eat so she can stay strong. It's less than 72 hours since she came to live with us so I'm sure in a little while she'll be more settled, but I just want her to be happy. She sometimes looks so scared and confused and my heart breaks for her. I know she must be so sad that her original owner effectively abandoned her - I know they didn't actually abandon her, but I'm sure that's how Gracie feels because she doesn't understand. I wonder if her original owner is missing her too. Apparently their reason for surrendering her was that they couldn't afford to keep their dogs - if that's true then I'm sure they're really sad about it. I know I would be. All Gracie really knows is that she spent virtually her whole life with that person, and all of a sudden they drove her to a stranger's house and left her there. Her foster mom told me that she cried actual tears and stared at the door that whole night, she was so upset. How heartbreaking is that? And some people think animals don't have feelings.
You know, the way a lot of my friends and family have treated me since September makes me love my pugs all the more. They're always here for me and they always will be - unlike some people I've mentioned. Even Gracie, who as I said has been with us less than 72 hours, is already way more loyal than they are!
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