3 days to go!

Yesterday I managed to get all of my housework done, despite feeling really rubbish. I feel better today - I got up just after 6 this morning and made us coffee and breakfast, then took the dogs for a walk. When we got back I went and sprayed the weeds in the front yard and pulled the huge weeds in the back yard (there were some smaller ones that I sprayed too). Fed the dogs and then since then I haven't done a great deal! I made us lunch and then had an afternoon nap. I feel a bit more refreshed now so that's nice. I just need to do the dishes and that's my housework done for the day. I guess I'll have to do the dishes again tonight after dinner though, but I need to do them now too otherwise I'll have too much stuff to fit on the drying rack! Oh well. :-)

My friend Taj arrives on Friday evening! I'm really excited to see her, it's been ages! The last time I saw her was just before I left the country, I think the actual date we last met up was August 31st, so it's almost 8 months now. I'm really looking forward to seeing her, I think we'll have fun! :-)

I am a little apprehensive about her staying here with us, though, but mainly because of our dogs - she's not a 'dog person' so I'm not sure how that's gonna go! She knows we have the 2 dogs of course, I just hope it's not too much of an ordeal for her. I guess if it's that bad then she'll probably check into a hotel. Other than that, I'm not really concerned about her staying with us because there's no way she could be as much of a pain as my Dad was when he was here!!!

Speaking of my Dad, yet again we're playing that stupid 'game' where he was supposed to call me last week, didn't call, and now since Sunday he's been emailing me with no mention of it. Great! I guess this is how it's gonna be then. He's even got 3 weeks of vacation from work right now, and clearly doesn't have the time or inclination to pick up the damn phone and call me. Fantastic, huh? I mean, last week he wasn't working, this week he isn't and next week he isn't. He clearly isn't planning on calling me this week, either, because I replied to one of his emails saying that Taj is arriving on Friday and we're going to the Grand Canyon on Sunday, and he said "have a good time at the Grand Canyon". I don't really know what to do, because we had a big falling out over this before and I thought that that would make him realize he should call me when he says he will, but it obviously hasn't had any impact. I mean, after that falling out when he said he'd make more of an effort, he didn't even manage to call me one single time when he'd said he would. Now it's going on again. So to be honest I can't be bothered to say anything about it, because there's no point is there? The way he's going, we'll be estranged soon. I've only been gone for less than 8 months so as far as I'm concerned, if he's this bad already what will he be like in another year?

However I think about it, it makes me feel like shit. I mean, "it's just the way he is", "he just forgot", "he obviously doesn't care enough to call" - either way, it's not really good enough. It's not even like he's called while we're out, because our phone shows missed calls and if he had he'd probably have left a message - which he hasn't. So he hasn't called at all. No doubt he's just gonna wait for me to call him, so I hope he's prepared for a long wait. Next time I have something I want to tell him, I'll refrain from calling. I find it so disrespectful that he continues this behavior especially now that he knows how much it upsets me - that's the worst part of it. What am I to infer from that, please? Yeah - he's obviously not bothered enough about upsetting me to change his behavior. Nice.

On Friendship

It's a strange situation I find myself in right now: I have everything I wanted for so long, my husband and our gorgeous little doggy, but I really am beginning to think that you can't have everything. I knew when I left the UK that some of my relationships would inevitably change, I just didn't realize how much. A lot of the time, I feel as though most people have just forgotten about me. There are friends who have kept in touch with me since I left, but it seems that there are more of them who haven't bothered much.

It's only 3 and a half months since I moved here, and in some ways it's almost like I never existed! It's quite upsetting sometimes, because although I was the one who left, I have been in touch with everyone multiple times since I got to the US. I realize that I have a lot more time on my hands than my friends who are working full-time, and I fully appreciate that people have things going on in their lives. I'm not expecting people to respond to my emails immediately, I'm not unreasonable! But when you've sent 3 or 4 emails over a period of time, and got no response whatsoever, it starts to grate on you.

One of my "friends" who I met up with a few days before leaving the UK insisted that she would keep in touch, and said that I should re-join Facebook so it would be easier. After arriving in the US, I did get back on FB - I thought my friend was right, it would be easier. Well, since I arrived here, I've sent this friend at least 3 emails, including one with some of our wedding photos, and messaged her on FB - have I heard anything back? In a word, no. I saw her on Skype recently, and decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and talk to her on there. She told me that she'd seen our wedding photos on FB and they were really nice, and never once acknowledged any of my attempts at communication. Then the whole conversation turned into a proof-reading session of a job application she was doing... I couldn't help but think that she was just using me. Maybe I'm being harsh, I don't know. That's just the way it seemed.

One of my other friends, who I've been friends with since the age of 4 or 5, keeps in touch sometimes but is so unreliable it's crazy! She'll tell me she'll be on Skype so we can catch up and then she won't show. We were supposed to talk a couple of days ago and I got an email not long before saying that it would have to be the next day, so I said that would be OK and told her what time I would be online. I didn't get a reply so I assumed that was fine for her, but when the time came she was nowhere to be seen. I stayed on for over an hour and she never showed. I thought that maybe today I would get an email apology or something, but no. Nice, huh? It just makes me feel like crap when people do stuff like that.

Even my own cousin has been terrible at getting in touch! He didn't even send us a card when we got married, despite the fact that he was in the US at the time and it would have cost all of 88 cents to send one! I thought that was a bit crappy, really. He called a week after the wedding, but we haven't spoken since. I've sent him 2 emails asking him when a good time would be for me to call him, because he works strange shifts so I don't want to call when he might be sleeping or whatever. He replied to my first email, saying he was on holiday so it would have to be when he got home. He was only away for a week, so he's been home a while now. It's been a week since I sent the second one and still I've heard nothing back. I just don't get it. It's rude, isn't it, to just ignore someone?

Now I just feel like not contacting anyone, because to be honest I don't want to have to deal with this crap any longer. I think I've made more than a reasonable effort to stay in touch with everyone, nobody can turn around and say I didn't try.

I spent a small fortune sending lots of Christmas cards to friends and family in the UK. I'm pretty sure we won't get many back, based on how people have been since I left. Only 2 of my friends so far have sent us cards, and it's only 10 days until Christmas. I do realize that it's a little bit more effort to send mail internationally, of course, but if people are true friends then surely they could make the effort? I mailed all of mine at the end of November to make sure they got there in time, and the few people I've heard from received them within about a week.

The reason I'm writing this stuff here is that I don't really want to confront people or tell them how much they've let me down. I've decided it's probably better to keep a dignified silence on the matter. I could do what a lot of people do and post some passive aggressive status message on FB, but I really don't see the point. I'll just leave it, and not contact those people who can't be bothered with me. It'll be interesting to see when, if ever, they contact me for a change.

Maybe when you emigrate you find out who your true friends are.