It's been a while!

OK, where do I start? A lot of things have happened since I last posted!

My Dad's visit was both good and bad. It was nice to see him, but really nothing much has changed and he still rarely listens to me, still thinks I should live my life according to his ideas and is pretty selfish all around. He annoyed me a lot by not cleaning up after himself. He had a cold and would leave snotty tissues laying all over the place, such as on the coffee table. Not cool! He would leave dirty socks on the couch - also not cool! He somehow managed to completely mess up our huge bathroom mirror within about a day of his arrival. He would leave coffee cups in the bathroom. I told him the night he arrived that he could help himself to anything he wanted - yet he would still demand cups of tea constantly, he wouldn't even get himself a glass of water or juice. Oh, and with this constant stream of cups of tea he would forget he had one and then get me to microwave it to heat it up 'cos he'd let it go cold! No, he couldn't possibly do it himself, that's really too much to expect from a grown man! He would sit on the couch and pug-pug would want to go outside to go potty, so instead of getting off his ass and walking 10 feet or so to the door, he would shout for me to come (when I was doing the dishes or cleaning the bathroom). He was constantly expecting me to do laundry, like seriously, every friggin' day. He arrived Thursday night, I did laundry Sunday morning, then the next day because he had a couple of items that needed washing he was asking me if I was doing more laundry! NO! I mean, yes, we have a washer and a dryer, but I'm not going to put 2 small items in! What is the point? I ended up doing more laundry before he left, just to shut him up really. He didn't bring many clothes with him so he had this big suitcase which was only about a third full at most. He must live in a different world if he really expected me to be doing laundry every day - what a waste of water and electricity!

We had a fair few arguments while he was here, mainly when we were driving places, because he refused to listen to what I was saying regarding directions. For example, I said to him that we were staying on the freeway for another 13 miles, and he took the next exit because I said "That's a nice house on the mountain over there". Seriously?! Then he shouted at me as though I'm an imbecile, and couldn't understand why I got in a mood with him. Another time he had a go at me and said I "could at least make an effort!" - excuse me? We went out and bought an airbed because he was staying with us, I gave him plenty of bedding, made him countless cups of tea, made him breakfast, coffee, you name it. I rented him DVDs that I'd seen before because he wanted to see them (even ones that weren't very good!). Before he arrived I recorded loads of movies that I knew he'd enjoy, so he could watch them, even though I'd seen them already. I was constantly suggesting things for us to do, with virtually no feedback from him and no ideas of what he wanted to do because he wouldn't say! He criticized my lifestyle because I'm not working, when I'm not able to work yet because I don't have my green card! He criticized me for not taking pug-pug on 5 walks a day, when she goes to the dog park every day for 1.5-2 hours and usually gets a 30-40 minute walk on a morning. He wouldn't shut up about what an "amazing" life we could have if I went back to college for 18 months so that I could work in radiology over here. You know what? That's between me and my hubby. Hubby earns plenty for the lifestyle we lead. We don't want for anything, we have a lovely home and we're very happy. Just because my Dad is obsessed with money doesn't mean we all should be. He's very much obsessed with status symbols - the big house in the country, his Mercedes and his wife's BMW... Personally I couldn't care less about that crap! At the same time as being obsessed with all those material things, he's constantly saying how 'skint' he is. Hmmm, I wonder why! Most of the time he was here I was having to bite my tongue. So when he accused me of not making any effort, I was really mad. It was very offensive, when I'd been trying really hard. It made me wonder why I'd bothered at all. I don't wish to sound mean, but it also made me glad that I don't see him much these days. He can really be one of those people who saps the life out of you - everything's always about him, he's constantly moaning about his life, he hates his (part time) job, his neck hurts (but he won't stop doing the things that aggravate his condition), he's supposedly skint but spends money like it's going out of fashion - and he doesn't have an interest in anything anyone else has to say. Most of the time when we'd be having a conversation I could look at him and tell he wasn't listening to a single word I was saying - I could even say as much, which proved my point perfectly. So after a while of this, I couldn't be bothered to start a conversation because there was no point in doing so! I swear, pug-pug listens to me more, and I know she can't even understand most of what I'm saying!

He was supposed to call me the middle of last week, and I'm still waiting. I'm not going to call him, it's his turn to call me. No doubt he's too busy being self-absorbed to notice we haven't spoken for 2 weeks. On Saturday night hubby and I went round to the in-laws' house for dinner, and his Mom asked me if I speak to my Dad every day - I couldn't help but laugh! I was like, "No, he never calls me when he says he will and I'm fed up of being the only one who makes an effort, so I'm waiting for him to get in touch" - I don't want to talk to him every day, I don't think there would be much point, but once a week would be nice. At least then we'd have something to say to each other. Maybe I just have to accept that he's never, ever going to call me close to the time he says he will - it's usually about 10 days afterwards. I don't think I should have to accept that, but it looks like I do. I mean, he's an adult, his schedule isn't that crazy, he has plenty of time to call me even if it's just for a 5 minute chat (4 minutes of that will be him moaning about his life, of course).

I like the arrangement I have with my Mom - we talk every Sunday, and we take it in turns to call each other. It works really well, and we speak every Sunday without fail. I don't know why my Dad couldn't make the effort to do something similar - maybe on a Wednesday or some other day he's not busy. I feel as though he doesn't even want to be bothered. He still hasn't got his laptop, so all that talk of us chatting on Skype before I left the UK was bullshit. It's only been like 5 fucking months now!

Anyway, moving on...

The day my Dad left (January 8th) I received an appointment letter for my AOS interview. Both hubby and I need to go together, so they can have a look at our 'relationship evidence' and verify that we're a proper married couple. It should just be a formality, there's nothing 'shady' about us! I'm in the process of preparing a folder to take with us to the interview, it'll contain all the documents / evidence they need, and probably much more! The interview is February 10th - I'm kinda nervous but only because it's so important. Just like when I was about to have my visa interview, I'm almost 100% sure there's nothing that will cause any problems, but until I hear the words "you're approved" I have this uneasy feeling in my tummy. I'll just be happy when it's over with, so I don't have to think about it anymore! Right from the beginning of this whole immigration thing I've been stressed about each stage - I don't like being that way but I totally am! I couldn't even bear to think about what would happen if they don't approve me for my green card - I can't possibly leave hubby now, it would be devastating. I don't even want to go back to the UK on vacation without him!

I got a couple of emails from USCIS (the immigration people) last week stating that they've approved my employment authorization document (so I can work) and my advance parole document (which sounds like you're a criminal but it's just a document that would allow me to leave and re-enter the USA while I'm still without my green card, without them assuming I've abandoned' my immigration process... not that I plan to go anywhere, but if there was a family emergency or something then it would be handy!)

Neither document has arrived yet, and I won't need either when I get my green card as that will allow me to work and it also allows me to come and go as I please, and still be a permanent resident (well, I think there are some restrictions on how long you can stay out of the USA, but that's fine - if I do leave it'll most likely only be for a couple of weeks!).

On Saturday we went to a massive pet adopt-a-thon about 20 miles from our house. We were told about it by one of our friends we met at the dog park, who's currently fostering a dog called Max. Well, she's allegedly fostering him. I'm 95% certain she's gonna end up keeping him, and I kinda hope she does 'cos pug-pug loves him! Anyways... the Arizona Pug Adoption and Rescue Network (APARN) were there with around 20 of their pugs. We knew they'd be there and we've been wanting to get another pug for a while. So, we ended up falling in love with a beautiful brindle girl pug, she's 3 and a half years old and very very sweet. She'd only been in foster for one day when we met her, she was surrendered by her previous owners because they were downsizing and couldn't take her with them. Our pug-pug is almost 18 months old, so there's a 2 year age gap which the people at APARN seem to think is great. They did seem to like each other, although I suppose it's hard to tell for sure when they're on neutral territory. Anyway, we filled out an application form and explained our situation - basically, we're renting our house and when hubby asked the property management company to ask the landlord if we could have a dog (when we wanted to get pug-pug last January) they said the landlord doesn't really like dogs but she agreed to it. So we have to check if she'll allow us to have another dog - I'm not sure if I fancy our chances, to be honest. Hubby got in touch with the property management company this morning and they said that they'll need to come and have a quick look at the house before they ask the landlord if we can have another dog. Hopefully, since pug-pug hasn't damaged anything at all, they'll be able to convince the landlord to let us have one more. Someone from the property management company is coming tomorrow morning between 8 and 9, so I'm hoping we'll be hearing something back from the landlord shortly after that. We're fully aware that it's not our house, and obviously the landlord can flat out refuse our request, but we're hopeful that she won't. We've looked after the house really well, it's in great condition (well, there were things that were kind of worn out when we got the house but we haven't caused any additional damage whatsoever). We keep the place clean and tidy, pug-pug isn't a noise nuisance and everything's in good condition. I'm hoping that when the landlord hears from the PMC that the house is great, she'll agree to us having another pug. I don't mind if they want to come out and see the house every couple of months, or however often. We don't have anything to hide!

If, and at the moment I guess it's a big IF, our landlord agrees to us having one more dog, then APARN will come and do a home check too. I think that should go just fine. They'll bring one of their dogs and see how our dog reacts to having another dog in the house. I'm not sure how she'll be, to be honest. I hope she'll be excited like she is when she sees the dogs at the park! I have a feeling she will be, anyway. Fingers crossed. Apart from that, everything should be OK - we have a yard (not a very big one, but it's completely secure and there's no way for a dog to get out of it) and we're both home all day seeing as hubby works from home and I'm a "homemaker" as he put it on the application form! I guess I am. So the dogs wouldn't ever be left alone for very long, some days they wouldn't be left at all and others they might be left for an hour or 2 which is nothing really. Our house isn't huge but let's face it, neither are pugs! Ours is about 16 pounds and the one we're hopefully going to adopt is maybe 17 pounds, so not big at all - unless you compare them to tiny chihuahas!

The 'new' pug's name at the moment is Jessyka, which we may or may not keep. I don't mind the name, but I'd spell it the 'regular' way, Jessica. I think we'd shorten it to Jessie. It's not a name I would've chosen myself, but if we get to that point then I guess we'll see how well she knows her name and if she's not too attached to it we may rename her. I was thinking of maybe naming her Amber, I think that suits her. I'm getting way ahead of myself aren't I? It's still very possible that we won't be able to pursue this, so I know I should stop making plans etc. I just think this particular pug would fit in very well with our family and our lifestyle, and I know we can give her a loving forever home where she'll have everything she could possibly ever want. We'd look after her really well and make sure she's a happy little girl. I really hope we get the chance to do that for her. If we are allowed to have another dog, we might have her by the end of this week... that's exciting!

Anxiety

Today has been a wet one in Phoenix - it's been raining pretty much all day! Tomorrow is probably going to be somewhat the same, too. Oh well, we can't complain - it's not like it happens very often!

My Dad arrives from the UK tomorrow. I'm not sure how I feel about it yet - I don't mean to sound awful, I am looking forward to seeing him, but I'm also kinda dreading it because he insisted on staying at our house and we really don't have enough room. He'll be sleeping on an airbed in the living room until Monday, and then he can sleep in our "second bedroom" which is actually hubby's office. He works from home and his hours are 7am-4pm so if my Dad's going to sleep in there he needs to be up and out of there by 6.50am... I'm not sure if that will happen, to be honest I really have my doubts. He can't sleep in there before Monday night because hubby is on-call all of this week and as usual he's been called at ridiculous times every day so far - 4am today, 5.30am yesterday. He has to get on his computer when they call him so we can't have anyone sleeping in the office while he's on-call.

The other thing that I'm worried about is that my Dad will probably expect me to pay for lots of things, like coffees and lunch etc. I'm lucky because I do get an allowance from hubby (his idea, not mine) so I do have some money I can spend, but not much. I've got good at making it go pretty far, but that's mainly because I don't go out very often! It won't go very far if I'm having to buy lunch all the time, or pay for admission into whatever places he wants to go to. Even a couple of coffees at Starbucks would end up using a decent chunk of my cash, because he'd expect a slice of cake or a muffin with it. I don't want to sound tight, but when you don't have a job you do have to be quite prudent with the money you have. I don't waste money on things like going out for coffee anymore, which is something I used to take for granted back in the UK when I was working full-time. Your priorities change when you're unemployed!

Finally, one last concern is that hubby and my Dad don't exactly know each other very well. I mean, hubby only came to the UK once while we were "dating" because he only gets 2 weeks holiday in a year and I used to get a lot more than that, so they've only actually spent a day together. I don't want to be pessimistic but I'm not sure how well they're gonna get along when they're thrown together for 10 days... It's probably going to be awkward for both of them, and me by default. I'm worried that hubby and I might get stressed out with the whole situation and snap at each other. Earlier today I explained that to him and he agreed - it probably will put us under quite a lot of strain, because of the space issue as much as anything else. That's without factoring in any personality clashes that may occur! Hubby is usually pretty laid back but my Dad can be quite highly strung and not very tactful - he's very stubborn and I think he's probably going to be a high maintenance, demanding guest. I hope that I'm wrong, I really do - I just can't stop feeling anxious about the whole thing.

Anyway... I've just cooked dinner (chicken fajitas) and done the dishes (for the second time today). Right now I have laundry in both the washer and the dryer. Hubby is soaking his elbow in epsom salts and warm water (for the 4th and penultimate time today) and pug-pug is chasing her squeaky gingerbread man around! I think I deserve a glass of wine and some chocolate... :)

Drama at the Dog Park!

Hubby stayed home today while I took pug-pug to the dog park. I met a really nice couple with a black pug, so we talked for quite a while. They only moved here a couple of months before I did, so it's nice to not be the only "new" person! Hehe. They moved from Washington though, so they probably fit in a little better than I do! I saw a couple of people I hadn't seen in a while, whose dogs pug-pug loves to play with, so that was cool. I was going to leave, but then I saw the lady with the 3 pugs and my pug wasn't ready to go home yet - she wanted to play with them! The little old pug I was cuddling yesterday was very happy to see me, she kept coming to me for cuddles. Very very sweet!

Unfortunately, just as we were all about to leave, pug-pug got attacked by a horrible vicious pomeranian. I had to pull it off of her, it wouldn't let her get away (and she really was trying to). Its idiot owner was at the other side of the dog park and didn't do a single thing. I got no apology or anything. In the process of that horrible dog trying to kill her (it certainly looked like it - it definitely wasn't playing, that's for sure) it managed to roll her in dog shit. Great, huh? Earlier this afternoon I gave pug-pug a bath to try and soothe her skin, because it was itchy, and I had to give her another bath as soon as we got home from the dog park. I was pretty livid about the whole thing - the fact that this dog, which incidentally has attacked one of the other pugs that goes there (who's even more docile than my pug), had turned on my pug so viciously and the owner didn't even give a crap - if my dog did that to another I'd get her off the dog and apologize profusely to the owner. I almost walked over to him to give him an earful, but I didn't really have the confidence to do that because I was on my own. That sounds pathetic, doesn't it? I just didn't feel as though I could do that. If he'd been standing nearby and hadn't got his dog off of mine, I would definitely have said something. If it does anything to my dog again, I will say something - that dog should not be in the dog park if it's going to attack at least 2 dogs in as many days. I'm not overreacting, either - I know playing when I see it, and pug-pug plays with lots of dogs, big and small without incident. This pomeranian, even though it's a small dog, is just vicious. It was only 2 days ago that it attacked the other pug, whose owner I was talking to yesterday. Either the owner should keep it on a leash, under control, or they shouldn't bring it. Or they should take it into the big dog side, and see how long it gets away with its vicious behaviour then, with the pitbulls and rottweilers. I think it might change its tune then!

Pug-pug doesn't seem to be physically hurt, but after we gave her her dinner (after her second bath of the day) she vomited - that's very unusual for her. I think maybe she was a little traumatized by the whole thing. I hope it doesn't put her off other dogs. Hopefully it won't - she's never had this kind of experience before, and she's played with some pretty rough and tumble dogs. She's a happy-go-lucky kind of dog, so fingers crossed she'll put it behind her. I'll be trying to keep that vicious little shit away from her in the future, though.

A Few Things!

Our trip to the orthopedic doctor yesterday went pretty well. Hubby got some soft tissue x-rays to see if the splinter was visible (it wasn't) and the doctor wants to see him again next week for a follow-up. In the meantime we're soaking his elbow in warm water and epsom salts 6 times a day for 15 minutes each time... That's supposed to help draw the splinter out. That option is a lot more appealing than going down the surgery route, anyway. We have an appointment for next Wednesday afternoon so hopefully by then the damn thing might have come out, or it might at least have moved to a point where it's no longer causing any pain. If that's the case I think they'll probably leave it alone.

In 2 days my Dad is arriving, so I need to get the house tidy before then! I could do it today but I know that it would still need doing on Thursday anyway, so I might as well do it then. His flight gets in at 6.40 if it's on time, but I know from my experiences of flying direct into Phoenix that the immigration process usually takes around an hour. Every time I came through there were only something like 3 or 4 officers to process everyone, and there were a lot of passengers! At least that gives me the whole day to clean the house. I mean, it's really not that bad anyway but it means I won't have to rush.

We took the pug-pug to the dog park yesterday and she had a great time! She played with so many dogs, and even stood up for herself when a couple of bigger dogs were playing with her (playing a bit rough for her!). Then after a while there were 7 pugs all playing together, it was so sweet! Some that we'd met before, others we hadn't. They were all such lovely dogs, so friendly and happy. One of them who we'd met before was an adorable little 11 year old pug-girl, her little tongue hangs out and she's such a sweetie. I just had to give her lots of cuddles - she loves it! Her little tail was wagging the whole time and she kept snuggling into my neck. I wanted to take her home!!

Unfortunately though our little girl now has hives though so she must've had a mild allergic reaction to something at the dog park - not sure what, but I guess it could've been something on the grass or on another dog. You can see where the bumps are, they're on her sides and her fur is kind of sticking up around them. She was itching a bit last night, poor little thing. I'm going to give her a bath today, her doggy shampoo is good for calming skin conditions so hopefully it'll help. She doesn't seem bothered by the bumps anymore, she's fine in herself. It just looks weird and it's probably a little uncomfortable for her at times. The bath should soothe her skin a bit, anyway.

Early this morning I spoke to my two best friends on Skype, one of them was back in our hometown for the festive period so they were both together in my other friend's house. It was nice to see them both at the same time and have a good chat!

A Splinter Update

We finally had our Christmas dinner last night - just a day late! Hehe. I did all the cooking and it was the first time I'd done a roast dinner. It actually turned out great, which was a nice confidence boost! We had roast turkey, mashed potatoes, vegetables, gravy and cranberry sauce. Pug-pug got her little doggy bowl filled up with the same, lucky thing! It was really nice.

Hubby called the orthopedic doctor's office first thing this morning and managed to get an appointment for this afternoon. Originally the receptionist said it would be Wednesday at the earliest, but she spoke to the doctor and came back to tell him to be there at 2.30pm today. Thank goodness - we really want this sorting out as soon as possible. I'm hoping they'll do an ultrasound to locate the damn thing, because although hubby can still feel it in there it's no longer visible under the skin. I really hope that the doctor today will be able to get it out without too much trouble, I'm dreading the thought of hubby having to be put under for more invasive surgery. If that does happen, though, we have a plan of action. Basically, we'll need his parents to have pug-pug for the day and I'll go with him and wait for him to come out of surgery. Unless his parents can drive us we'll have to get a cab both ways, because he won't be able to drive after having an anesthetic, and I can't drive regardless.

This whole thing has come at a bad time, obviously because it was Christmas day when it happened so that kinda ruined most of our first Christmas together, but also because my Dad is arriving on Thursday night and hubby is actually on-call all of this week, including the weekend. With it being New Year and everything, I doubt that anyone else will volunteer for it so he's likely to be stuck with that even if he's not really up to it. Luckily his boss has been fine about the whole thing (although really they do kinda have to be - I mean, it was an accident and what can you do?) and he is able to work, although typing is taking him longer than usual (understandably). He's told them about his appointment and they're cool with it. Hopefully by the end of today all of this will be sorted out. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it will be relatively easy for the ortho doc to remove the splinter and that will be that. In the back of my mind though I'm worried that it won't be that simple and he will need 'proper' surgery. Please don't let it come to that...

Merry Christmas! Well, kinda...

OK, so today started off really well - we got up, had breakfast and opened our presents (everyone was very happy with everything they got). My Dad called (finally) and we spoke to my Mom on Skype. Then we went for a walk with pug-pug. Our next door neighbors had cut back our palm tree out front, which is fine, because it was planted in a silly position and although it's on "our land" it hangs over their driveway. They'd left the huge palm leaves on our side though, so hubby went to get rid of those. Well, he came back in with a huge splinter in his arm, near his elbow. In the process of trying to break them up a bit to put them in the trash, something somehow splintered off and got stuck in his arm. It looks like a BB gun pellet under his skin, and the entry wound was tiny! He tried to get it out himself but without any success, so at 1.30pm we went off to the ER. The number one concern was infection, and also the splinter itself is causing him pain. Well, we were there a few hours and one of the doctors gave him a local anesthetic, sliced his arm and attempted to retrieve the foreign body but to no avail. Damn! He said he was worried that it might end up in the elbow joint, which would obviously cause more problems. They dressed it and gave us the number of an orthopedic clinic to call on Monday. The hope is that they will be able to get the damn thing out when they try, otherwise he will probably have to be put under and we're really not keen on that idea if it's at all avoidable. Better still would be if the splinter works its own way out in the next couple of days - that'd be the best outcome.

So, hubby has a 10 day supply of antibiotics and some painkillers, and we need to change the dressing twice a day. What a way to spend Christmas, eh?!

I had to leave the room while the doctor was digging around in hubby's arm, I was able to stomach it for a while and then it just became too much and I left, as I felt as though I would either vomit or pass out. Hubby himself was quite happy to watch the whole thing - I think that made me feel worse! What a wuss I must be!

By the time we got back from the hospital it was after 5pm and we'd already called hubby's brother to let him know Christmas dinner was cancelled. We would have started cooking at around 2.30pm but obviously that didn't work out. So I'll cook our turkey and all the trimmings tomorrow, instead. Brother-in-law won't be able to make it because he's working, so now it'll just be the two of us and pug-pug. I have to say, I'm really worried about the prospect of hubby having to have proper surgery to get this thing out, I really hope it doesn't come to that. I feel so helpless in all of this - I couldn't even drive him to the hospital, seeing as I don't have a license. I'm really sad that he's hurting. The fact that it pretty much ruined Christmas is crappy, but not the main thing. We'll have Christmas dinner tomorrow, and Christmas is only another day after all. It just sucks that this whole thing happened at all.

Oops!

I'm now officially set for Christmas! My Moonpig.com cards have arrived, as has hubby's T-shirt. The stuff my Mom sent from the UK hasn't come yet but hopefully it will come before Christmas. If not, then it shouldn't be long after.

Well, last night's meal with the in-laws wasn't exactly the success we'd hoped it would be. They were meant to be here between 5.30 and 5.45pm, so I'd said we'd eat at 6. Well, 6pm came and went. Hubby thought they might be stuck in traffic... at 6.15 we called their house and there was no answer. Then a few minutes later they rang us back - from their house phone! They'd both completely forgotten! We were really pissed, especially as it was his Mom who decided that the meal would be on Wednesday. We'd rather have done it today, but as I wrote last week his Mom had a Jehovah's Witness "meeting" to go to so they couldn't have come today. So, I'd spent all day getting the house all clean and tidy, making apple crumble and prepping veggies, for nothing! Hubby had spent ages cooking the tilapia and making sauce for it. All the food was ready at 6 and our dinner guests just forgot. They ended up getting here at 6.45. We'd eaten already, so we just kept the rest of the food warm for them. At least they were very apologetic about the whole thing. Apparently they thought the meal was today so they would've showed up tonight! Just as well they didn't, because we're not cooking enough food today! Jeez... Well, it was still a nice evening after the terrible start to it!

Right now I have this weird feeling in my stomach, I think I might have indigestion. Strange, because I don't usually suffer from that! Maybe the soup I had for lunch is the culprit. I'm really tired too, but I didn't stop at all yesterday so that's not surprising. Pug-pug slept on our bed with us last night and she was really good, she just lay right next to me all night and didn't wake up until the alarm went off at 6.50am. She was like a hot water bottle though - I had to keep kicking off the blanket 'cos she made me so warm!

Hubby has the day off work tomorrow so that'll be nice. Not sure what we're going to do yet, but we might go somewhere. :)