When we got home, hubby called his brother to ask him if he'd been given the same talking to - no, not at all, nothing was said to him! Note that when we've all been over to my brother-in-law's house, the same thing has happened - hubby and BIL haven't observed grace. So why is it OK in BIL's house but not ours? As I said, nobody stopped them from saying grace. I do feel as though it should be optional, we're not in the least bit religious so when we're in our house we shouldn't be obliged to say grace.
Another thing that's pissed me off is that for the past 3 or 4 weeks, she's brought up my weight. It started when her brother and sister-in-law were in town and apparently her SIL said that I'd lost weight. Now bear in mind that I'd previously only met them once before - at our wedding - for that one day. So, the following week she brought it up when we all went out for a buffet - she asked me, in front of everybody, if I was trying to lose weight, because I didn't eat an excessive amount. She said that her SIL had said she thought I'd lost weight. I was really embarrassed by her saying all this, I could feel my cheeks going red. I said that I wasn't on a diet or anything. Since then she's brought it up a couple more times, including tonight. She said, "Have you lost weight?" and I said "I don't know, we don't have any scales..." and she said again that her SIL thought I'd lost weight - I said, "She only met me once before" and she said "Yeah, she'd only seen you in your (wedding) dress before, not normal clothes" - I was having to bite my lip because to me that sounded like she was saying I looked really fat in my wedding dress. Gee, thanks a fucking bunch! Then, she added that she didn't think I'd lost weight. The whole time I was just wanting to say, "Why the hell is this even up for discussion? Just because I'm not skinny doesn't mean that my weight is a topic of debate for anyone to get involved in! What are you trying to say, exactly, when you repeatedly bring this up? Are you trying to make me feel like shit?"
Of course, I didn't say any of that. I hadn't even told hubby any of this, and as I said it's been going on for weeks now. When he told me all this about how she thinks he's so offensive etc. etc. I told him and let's just say, he's not very impressed with her.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not skinny by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm also not morbidly obese. I have some meat on my bones and I could do with losing some weight, but not too much. Anyway, the whole time she's known me I've been about the same size - so why is it an issue now? I don't like to be too touchy about things like this but when someone repeatedly says something like this and it's completely unwarranted - i.e. she brought up the subject, not me - it starts to feel a bit personal and to be perfectly honest I am getting offended now. So, rightly or wrongly I've asked hubby to tell her how I feel about it next time he speaks to her, whenever that may be. We won't be going round in the foreseeable future, because frankly even if they do invite us over neither of us would feel very comfortable there at the moment. It would be really awkward.
Regarding the dog situation - I really think she was grasping at straws, because hubby made a valid point. If she really was pissed off with us bringing the dogs with us every week, I'm sure she would've at least hinted about it sometime before now. Also, my father-in-law loves the dogs to bits and I'm sure he looks forward to seeing them every week. They have loads of different dog treats in their cupboard - and they don't have a dog! And we're seriously supposed to believe that they honestly don't want us to take them round there? I can honestly say that my FIL would be very disappointed if we stopped taking the dogs with us. Anyway, either way, we won't be going round anymore so I guess it really doesn't matter.
I would like to hear my FIL's take on the whole situation, though - she made out that it was both of them who were seriously offended, but he said nothing and acted perfectly normally the whole night - and he's not the kind to keep his mouth shut if something's bugging him. In fact, I think he would likely have said something at the time. The fact they stayed at our house a couple hours after dinner says to me that it wasn't as big a deal as she's making out. But, if she wants to push her son (and me) away, then so be it.