YAY!!!!!!!!

THE ANSWER IS YES!!!!!!!!

Wow! We're going to be adopting Jessyka! We're so very excited! :-) :-) :-)

omg... how long are they gonna make us wait?!

Hubby has emailed the property management company again to ask them if they've heard anything from the homeowner yet. No response so far. Jeez, this is so frustrating! I just hope we know by the end of the day, as I really would hate to have to wait until next week to find out - that would mean a second weekend of wondering.

I keep thinking how great it would be to be able to email APARN with good news, and organize the home visit etc. I guess that even if we do find out today, we probably won't be able to have Jessyka until early next week. That's alright though - at least if we get the go ahead, I can allow myself to get excited at last! I have been getting excited at times, but I have to keep stopping myself from getting too carried away as nothing is certain yet.

I guess the fact that the homeowner hasn't said no right away maybe is a good sign. She made us wait quite a while to hear if she would allow pug-pug, so maybe she's just mean like that! Or maybe it at least means she's considering it, rather than denying our request outright. Or, it could mean she hasn't got the voicemail or email yet. Surely though she would've checked at least one of those things by now - apparently the woman at the property management company sent the email and left the voicemail on Tuesday. Now it's Friday so surely she would have seen one of those things by this point...

Still waiting!!!!!

Still no news from our landlord... I really hope we'll get a decision before the weekend. The waiting is becoming unbearable! Basically, if we're not going to be able to adopt Jessyka then I guess the sooner we find that out the better. I don't exactly want that news to come, but if the answer's no then it's better to know that now rather than next week sometime. At least then I can get this out of my mind as much as possible, and stop dreaming!

I just hope all this waiting pays off and we get some good news - if we do it'll be good news for us, Jessyka and APARN too.

If the answer is no, then I'm sure APARN will find Jessyka another home pretty quickly and she won't know any different, but I want us to be the ones to give her the forever home she deserves. If we're unable to adopt her, then we'll definitely apply to adopt another pug when we buy our own house. That's without doubt - but also without doubt is the fact that I will never forget about Jessyka. I'll always wonder what happened to her if we can't adopt her.

So, here's hoping (yet again) that we'll get the news we want tomorrow! Or if not the news that we want, then the news that we don't want. I just want to know now, either way.

Still no news... and how can people be so lousy?!

OK, so hubby emailed the property management company yesterday and asked if there's any news from our landlord. The guy who came to see the house apparently isn't the one who will be asking the landlord - he said this other woman "will be asking her". Um, so let me get this straight - we asked you on Monday if we could have another dog, you came to see the house on Tuesday, and still nobody has even asked the landlord? Now it's Thursday, and we still know nothing. How are we going to get an answer if nobody even asks the landlord?! So hubby emailed this woman, and asked her if there's any news. He reiterated that the rescue agency are holding a dog for us, so time is of the essence. Not that it will probably make any difference whatsoever...

[OK, maybe I was a little bit hasty there... hubby just saw an email from that lady saying she's left the landlord a voicemail and sent her an email, so maybe we will hear something soon... watch this space!]

On the plus side, I emailed the lady at APARN again yesterday and explained that the inspection went well as expected, but we are still waiting for news. I got an email back saying not to worry, that they're all in agreement that we would provide a wonderful home for Jessyka and that they know the wait is harder for us than it is for them. She also said that Jessyka may be added to their website, but she won't be adopted to anybody else. So basically she's going to be ours unless we're not allowed to have her. That made me feel a bit better :-)

On the communication front, I was on Skype yesterday and my cousin logged on, and a message from him from January 31st came up saying something along the lines of "haven't seen you on here in a while" - well, that's absolute rubbish! He's been online at the same time as me multiple times, and I've typed messages to him multiple times, with no response whatsoever. Not to mention all the emails I've sent him which he's completely ignored - the last email I got from him was November 19th, I just checked my sent messages and I emailed him on December 9th and December 27th and got no replies. So now I've emailed him again, saying that I got his Skype message but that it's not a good way to get in touch if you send a message to someone who's offline, because it only appears when the person who sent it is online themselves - so it's hit and miss. I also said that I tried talking to him on there yesterday and got no response, and that I've emailed him a few times over the last couple of months asking when I could call him and haven't ever got a reply. I didn't word it nastily, but I think I made it clear that I was a bit annoyed. I also mentioned my Dad, and how he never bothers to call and I'm sick of it being me who makes all the effort - so yes, he can apply that to himself too. The message on Skype made out he hasn't heard from me in ages, which is a load of bollocks. I just don't get it. I wrote that I've been here exactly 5 months now (I arrived on September 3rd, now it's February 3rd) and I felt like writing "and it feels as though most people back home have forgotten about me completely" but I didn't. Maybe I should have!

Also, my friend who I'll refer to as T, is annoying me no end with her fickle arrangements to catch up with me. We were emailing back and forth last week, and she said she could do a Skype chat on Saturday or Sunday, so I said Sunday (evening in the UK, lunchtime here) would work for me, so let me know if it works for you. Nothing. So, Saturday I emailed her and asked if that was alright - she mailed me back and said it was fine, and she thought she'd let me know but hadn't. OK, fair enough. So Sunday I speak to my Mom on the phone for like 40 minutes, and the time for my chat with T comes around (12.30) so I tell my Mom I have to go speak to her. I open up my laptop and get an email from T, saying that she was sorry but she'd been invited to her brother's house for dinner so she would try and get home by 2pm our time. I replied something like this: "Don't worry about it! We have things to do though so I'll have to cancel, maybe we can talk during the week" - my reasons being that she's one who often cancels or just doesn't show, and I wasn't going to waste my whole afternoon hanging around to speak to her if and when she might get online. I could kind of imagine what the next excuse would be - "I got back late, I'm tired now, we'll have to talk some other time" - and no, I'm not being paranoid, she does that kind of thing all the time. I'd say for every 3 catch-ups that we arrange, we maybe actually do 1. I spoke to my other good friend, R, yesterday (all 3 of us have been friends since like the age of 4) and she said the whole thing is ridiculous - T is so unreliable! I can't disagree. She also said that T shouldn't be expecting me to chat to her on a weekend, because that's my time with my hubby. I agree to a point, but 12.30 would have worked OK for us. However, I wasn't about to wait around another couple of hours for her. I think she was a bit taken aback when I replied and said we'd have to talk another time, but I'm fed up of being messed around (not just by her, but lots of people). She then suggested she could maybe do Wednesday night (yesterday) but mentioned that she might be going to the movies but it's not confirmed yet - well, I'm not gonna make plans with you then, because you will most likely end up cancelling yet again! Also, R had already said she wanted to Skype with me then, and she's reliable so there was no way I was gonna cancel on her for someone who's totally unreliable!

Now don't get me wrong, I get it - an invitation to go out somewhere is probably more appealing than talking to a friend over Skype. But the thing is, those plans were already made and confirmed. It's like, "Oh, I got a better offer, forget you!" which I think is pretty rude really. You wouldn't do that if you were physically going to meet up, so there's not much difference really. She could have told her brother she already had plans. He knows I'm in the US, it's not like we talk all the time and it's not like we can actually meet up these days. I'm sure he's not that unreasonable! I'm glad I told her it would have to be another time, because I would've been all the more annoyed if I'd given in and hung around waiting for her. I bet she never would've showed up. The thing is, she's probably taken that email as being "off" - well, it wasn't, but I'm not the one who constantly cancels (or just doesn't show up). There comes a point where you have to stand your ground, and people need to stop assuming you'll just bend to their every whim. It's just not on, in my opinion. If someone repeatedly messes you around, how long are you really supposed to put up with it? My Dad is awful for keeping in touch too. I last spoke to him over 2 weeks ago and he said he would call me "in a week" - i.e. middle of last week. Now it's a whole week later and I'm still yet to hear anything at all. He probably assumes I'll call him, but guess what? It's not happening. I'm obviously not important enough in his life for him to bother picking up the damn phone and dialling our number. Yet, if he does ever call, he'll probably be like "I miss you loads" - well, the old saying actions speak louder than words is very true, isn't it? When hubby and I were in a (very) long distance relationship for 20 months, only seeing each other every 3-4 months, we both really missed each other. Guess what? We would talk on Skype every day, we would text and call all the time. We didn't leave it weeks with no contact - that's pathetic. It's like when my Dad says he "wishes he could've come to our wedding" - that pisses me off so much! Really? Because last I checked, you could have come to our wedding! You didn't bother to book the time off work, and then a college orchestra rehearsal (not even concert, for fuck's sake) was more important to you than your own daughter's wedding. What a friggin' joke! "I hope you don't resent me for it" - well get this: yes, I bloody well do! And I resent you for never bothering to call me when you say you will. Not even close to the time you say you will, either. It's not like it's a day after he was meant to, or even a couple of days after. We're talking over a week already - and it'll probably be another week before he calls, if he even calls then. Let's just say I'm not exactly holding my breath. Oh and when I've had my AOS interview next Thursday, I won't be calling him to tell him how it went. I'm sticking to my guns, again, and I will not call him. I want to see how long it'll be this time before he notices he hasn't spoken to me for ages. Every time he's supposed to call I do this, and it clearly doesn't make any difference, but other than have a go at him I don't know what else to do. And I don't want him to call me because he thinks I'll get mad at him if he doesn't - I want him to call because he actually cares about me.

I'm starting to think the only person he truly cares about is himself.

No news...

As we kinda expected, we didn't hear anything back from the landlord yesterday. I didn't think we would but I really hoped we would! Maybe it'll be today...

We went to the dog park yesterday when hubby finished work, and a few of our friends there were asking whether there had been any progress. It's kinda disheartening to have to say no! Well, I guess in a sense there was some progress, in that the guy from the property management company came round to check the house, but that's it. The people at the dog park are all rooting for us, which is nice. It's so hard being in this kind of limbo situation, though. Sometimes I feel kinda positive about it, because surely the landlord will realize if we've taken good care of the house thus far, we'll continue to do so. Other times I'm not sure, I just keep thinking she might just say no for the hell of it. That would be such a shame.

If we haven't heard anything by say 3pm today, I think I'll email APARN again and tell them that the inspection went really well but we still haven't heard back from our landlord. I hope they'll be ok with it - they know we really want Jessyka, and they know we're doing everything in our power to make it happen. They're really nice people, I was surprised that they're keeping Jessyka for us until we find out what's happening. It's really good of them, because they know as well as we do that we may not be able to have her after all...

I think that would break my heart.

Pug update

The guy from the property management company was impressed with the house - he said he'd definitely put a good word in for us with the landlord, so hopefully we'll be getting some good news soon! I emailed APARN yesterday to update them on the situation, so they'd at least know that we're doing something. I told them that the property management company were sending someone out this morning to look at the house, and that hopefully when they see there's no dog damage the landlord would agree to us having another dog. The lady in charge emailed me back really quickly and said that Jessyka wouldn't be offered to anybody else until we hear back from our landlord, so basically, she'll be ours if we're allowed to have her! That put my mind at ease a little bit, I was a bit worried about if someone else came along after us and was a homeowner and therefore didn't have any problems with landlords etc. In that case I thought they might let someone else adopt her, but they're being really nice 'holding' her for us. That must mean they're happy with our application and they think we're a good match!

I just hope that the landlord doesn't keep us waiting too long, I'd really like to know the outcome either way. If the answer is yes, then that's wonderful news! If it's no, then we'll be really sad but at least APARN can work on finding her a different forever home. Honestly I'll be gutted if I have to tell APARN we're not going to be able to have her after all... I've grown very attached to that little pug and I can see her being a great part of our family, she'd fit in so well with us. I know we'd give her so much love and attention that she'd be the happiest little girl.

I wonder how long it will be before we have an answer... The suspense and the waiting is just about killing me.

It's been a while!

OK, where do I start? A lot of things have happened since I last posted!

My Dad's visit was both good and bad. It was nice to see him, but really nothing much has changed and he still rarely listens to me, still thinks I should live my life according to his ideas and is pretty selfish all around. He annoyed me a lot by not cleaning up after himself. He had a cold and would leave snotty tissues laying all over the place, such as on the coffee table. Not cool! He would leave dirty socks on the couch - also not cool! He somehow managed to completely mess up our huge bathroom mirror within about a day of his arrival. He would leave coffee cups in the bathroom. I told him the night he arrived that he could help himself to anything he wanted - yet he would still demand cups of tea constantly, he wouldn't even get himself a glass of water or juice. Oh, and with this constant stream of cups of tea he would forget he had one and then get me to microwave it to heat it up 'cos he'd let it go cold! No, he couldn't possibly do it himself, that's really too much to expect from a grown man! He would sit on the couch and pug-pug would want to go outside to go potty, so instead of getting off his ass and walking 10 feet or so to the door, he would shout for me to come (when I was doing the dishes or cleaning the bathroom). He was constantly expecting me to do laundry, like seriously, every friggin' day. He arrived Thursday night, I did laundry Sunday morning, then the next day because he had a couple of items that needed washing he was asking me if I was doing more laundry! NO! I mean, yes, we have a washer and a dryer, but I'm not going to put 2 small items in! What is the point? I ended up doing more laundry before he left, just to shut him up really. He didn't bring many clothes with him so he had this big suitcase which was only about a third full at most. He must live in a different world if he really expected me to be doing laundry every day - what a waste of water and electricity!

We had a fair few arguments while he was here, mainly when we were driving places, because he refused to listen to what I was saying regarding directions. For example, I said to him that we were staying on the freeway for another 13 miles, and he took the next exit because I said "That's a nice house on the mountain over there". Seriously?! Then he shouted at me as though I'm an imbecile, and couldn't understand why I got in a mood with him. Another time he had a go at me and said I "could at least make an effort!" - excuse me? We went out and bought an airbed because he was staying with us, I gave him plenty of bedding, made him countless cups of tea, made him breakfast, coffee, you name it. I rented him DVDs that I'd seen before because he wanted to see them (even ones that weren't very good!). Before he arrived I recorded loads of movies that I knew he'd enjoy, so he could watch them, even though I'd seen them already. I was constantly suggesting things for us to do, with virtually no feedback from him and no ideas of what he wanted to do because he wouldn't say! He criticized my lifestyle because I'm not working, when I'm not able to work yet because I don't have my green card! He criticized me for not taking pug-pug on 5 walks a day, when she goes to the dog park every day for 1.5-2 hours and usually gets a 30-40 minute walk on a morning. He wouldn't shut up about what an "amazing" life we could have if I went back to college for 18 months so that I could work in radiology over here. You know what? That's between me and my hubby. Hubby earns plenty for the lifestyle we lead. We don't want for anything, we have a lovely home and we're very happy. Just because my Dad is obsessed with money doesn't mean we all should be. He's very much obsessed with status symbols - the big house in the country, his Mercedes and his wife's BMW... Personally I couldn't care less about that crap! At the same time as being obsessed with all those material things, he's constantly saying how 'skint' he is. Hmmm, I wonder why! Most of the time he was here I was having to bite my tongue. So when he accused me of not making any effort, I was really mad. It was very offensive, when I'd been trying really hard. It made me wonder why I'd bothered at all. I don't wish to sound mean, but it also made me glad that I don't see him much these days. He can really be one of those people who saps the life out of you - everything's always about him, he's constantly moaning about his life, he hates his (part time) job, his neck hurts (but he won't stop doing the things that aggravate his condition), he's supposedly skint but spends money like it's going out of fashion - and he doesn't have an interest in anything anyone else has to say. Most of the time when we'd be having a conversation I could look at him and tell he wasn't listening to a single word I was saying - I could even say as much, which proved my point perfectly. So after a while of this, I couldn't be bothered to start a conversation because there was no point in doing so! I swear, pug-pug listens to me more, and I know she can't even understand most of what I'm saying!

He was supposed to call me the middle of last week, and I'm still waiting. I'm not going to call him, it's his turn to call me. No doubt he's too busy being self-absorbed to notice we haven't spoken for 2 weeks. On Saturday night hubby and I went round to the in-laws' house for dinner, and his Mom asked me if I speak to my Dad every day - I couldn't help but laugh! I was like, "No, he never calls me when he says he will and I'm fed up of being the only one who makes an effort, so I'm waiting for him to get in touch" - I don't want to talk to him every day, I don't think there would be much point, but once a week would be nice. At least then we'd have something to say to each other. Maybe I just have to accept that he's never, ever going to call me close to the time he says he will - it's usually about 10 days afterwards. I don't think I should have to accept that, but it looks like I do. I mean, he's an adult, his schedule isn't that crazy, he has plenty of time to call me even if it's just for a 5 minute chat (4 minutes of that will be him moaning about his life, of course).

I like the arrangement I have with my Mom - we talk every Sunday, and we take it in turns to call each other. It works really well, and we speak every Sunday without fail. I don't know why my Dad couldn't make the effort to do something similar - maybe on a Wednesday or some other day he's not busy. I feel as though he doesn't even want to be bothered. He still hasn't got his laptop, so all that talk of us chatting on Skype before I left the UK was bullshit. It's only been like 5 fucking months now!

Anyway, moving on...

The day my Dad left (January 8th) I received an appointment letter for my AOS interview. Both hubby and I need to go together, so they can have a look at our 'relationship evidence' and verify that we're a proper married couple. It should just be a formality, there's nothing 'shady' about us! I'm in the process of preparing a folder to take with us to the interview, it'll contain all the documents / evidence they need, and probably much more! The interview is February 10th - I'm kinda nervous but only because it's so important. Just like when I was about to have my visa interview, I'm almost 100% sure there's nothing that will cause any problems, but until I hear the words "you're approved" I have this uneasy feeling in my tummy. I'll just be happy when it's over with, so I don't have to think about it anymore! Right from the beginning of this whole immigration thing I've been stressed about each stage - I don't like being that way but I totally am! I couldn't even bear to think about what would happen if they don't approve me for my green card - I can't possibly leave hubby now, it would be devastating. I don't even want to go back to the UK on vacation without him!

I got a couple of emails from USCIS (the immigration people) last week stating that they've approved my employment authorization document (so I can work) and my advance parole document (which sounds like you're a criminal but it's just a document that would allow me to leave and re-enter the USA while I'm still without my green card, without them assuming I've abandoned' my immigration process... not that I plan to go anywhere, but if there was a family emergency or something then it would be handy!)

Neither document has arrived yet, and I won't need either when I get my green card as that will allow me to work and it also allows me to come and go as I please, and still be a permanent resident (well, I think there are some restrictions on how long you can stay out of the USA, but that's fine - if I do leave it'll most likely only be for a couple of weeks!).

On Saturday we went to a massive pet adopt-a-thon about 20 miles from our house. We were told about it by one of our friends we met at the dog park, who's currently fostering a dog called Max. Well, she's allegedly fostering him. I'm 95% certain she's gonna end up keeping him, and I kinda hope she does 'cos pug-pug loves him! Anyways... the Arizona Pug Adoption and Rescue Network (APARN) were there with around 20 of their pugs. We knew they'd be there and we've been wanting to get another pug for a while. So, we ended up falling in love with a beautiful brindle girl pug, she's 3 and a half years old and very very sweet. She'd only been in foster for one day when we met her, she was surrendered by her previous owners because they were downsizing and couldn't take her with them. Our pug-pug is almost 18 months old, so there's a 2 year age gap which the people at APARN seem to think is great. They did seem to like each other, although I suppose it's hard to tell for sure when they're on neutral territory. Anyway, we filled out an application form and explained our situation - basically, we're renting our house and when hubby asked the property management company to ask the landlord if we could have a dog (when we wanted to get pug-pug last January) they said the landlord doesn't really like dogs but she agreed to it. So we have to check if she'll allow us to have another dog - I'm not sure if I fancy our chances, to be honest. Hubby got in touch with the property management company this morning and they said that they'll need to come and have a quick look at the house before they ask the landlord if we can have another dog. Hopefully, since pug-pug hasn't damaged anything at all, they'll be able to convince the landlord to let us have one more. Someone from the property management company is coming tomorrow morning between 8 and 9, so I'm hoping we'll be hearing something back from the landlord shortly after that. We're fully aware that it's not our house, and obviously the landlord can flat out refuse our request, but we're hopeful that she won't. We've looked after the house really well, it's in great condition (well, there were things that were kind of worn out when we got the house but we haven't caused any additional damage whatsoever). We keep the place clean and tidy, pug-pug isn't a noise nuisance and everything's in good condition. I'm hoping that when the landlord hears from the PMC that the house is great, she'll agree to us having another pug. I don't mind if they want to come out and see the house every couple of months, or however often. We don't have anything to hide!

If, and at the moment I guess it's a big IF, our landlord agrees to us having one more dog, then APARN will come and do a home check too. I think that should go just fine. They'll bring one of their dogs and see how our dog reacts to having another dog in the house. I'm not sure how she'll be, to be honest. I hope she'll be excited like she is when she sees the dogs at the park! I have a feeling she will be, anyway. Fingers crossed. Apart from that, everything should be OK - we have a yard (not a very big one, but it's completely secure and there's no way for a dog to get out of it) and we're both home all day seeing as hubby works from home and I'm a "homemaker" as he put it on the application form! I guess I am. So the dogs wouldn't ever be left alone for very long, some days they wouldn't be left at all and others they might be left for an hour or 2 which is nothing really. Our house isn't huge but let's face it, neither are pugs! Ours is about 16 pounds and the one we're hopefully going to adopt is maybe 17 pounds, so not big at all - unless you compare them to tiny chihuahas!

The 'new' pug's name at the moment is Jessyka, which we may or may not keep. I don't mind the name, but I'd spell it the 'regular' way, Jessica. I think we'd shorten it to Jessie. It's not a name I would've chosen myself, but if we get to that point then I guess we'll see how well she knows her name and if she's not too attached to it we may rename her. I was thinking of maybe naming her Amber, I think that suits her. I'm getting way ahead of myself aren't I? It's still very possible that we won't be able to pursue this, so I know I should stop making plans etc. I just think this particular pug would fit in very well with our family and our lifestyle, and I know we can give her a loving forever home where she'll have everything she could possibly ever want. We'd look after her really well and make sure she's a happy little girl. I really hope we get the chance to do that for her. If we are allowed to have another dog, we might have her by the end of this week... that's exciting!