Last Thursday I bit the bullet, so to speak, and went to the DMV to apply for my learner's permit. I kind of expected to fail the test, but somehow I got 86% (I think 70% is a pass) so I got the permit. The whole thing took like 15 minutes from start to finish - I was impressed!
So hubby has been teaching me to drive in his car. I must admit, my first lesson was quite scary as I obviously didn't have a clue. I found myself wishing that he had an automatic instead of a stick-shift (or manual, whatever you want to call it!) but he has a 6-speed stick-shift, so it's tough!
I've had 5 lessons now, almost every day with the only exception being Saturday. So far we've only been in an abandoned parking lot, which is a good place to learn for obvious reasons. I manage to start and stop most of the time without stalling or burning the clutch (although it does happen sometimes - I'm getting better though!) and I can change gear fairly smoothly most of the time. I started learning how to reverse yesterday, which I can do alright most of the time but I'm struggling a little with turning the wheel the right way - I'll say I'm going to back up and turn right but I end up going the opposite direction! I'll get there soon, I think. It's not as difficult as I was expecting, on the whole. I'm quite enjoying learning. I haven't been on any "proper" roads yet but I did drive us to a neighboring in-use parking lot (next to the one I've been learning in) and park us there... far away from any other vehicles! I parked in the lines though, straight, which is something a lot of people around here appear to struggle with! (either that, or they're too lazy since the spaces are pretty big and you can park badly and still be in the lines!)
Yesterday we went to our bank to start the mortgage process. We have a friend at the dog park whose mom is a realtor, we met her a couple of weeks back and she gave us her business card, so as soon as we get the pre-approval notice from the bank (we should know by Friday) we can set up an appointment with her and go and look at some houses properly! So far we've only looked from the outside, but we've found some promising looking houses in nice areas for very good prices (less than we can afford, so that's a good thing!)
Oh yeah, and the whole thing with my dad is still not really resolved. He called me last Monday and started telling me how busy he was the previous Wednesday (he'd told me the week before that, that he would call me either the Wednesday or Thursday, and didn't). I tried to have a normal conversation with him but he kept going on about how tired he is now he has the dog and how busy he was that Wednesday, blah blah blah, and I had to point out that his failure to call was hardly a one-off! I mean, it happens without fail every single bloody time he's told me he'll call me! I didn't raise my voice or anything, but I told him that when he repeatedly doesn't call it really upsets me and it disappoints me every time. Now, my dad can't take any criticism whatsoever, so he had to get all sarcastic with me and the tone of his voice really pissed me off. He said, "Shall I call you back on Wednesday when you're in a better mood?!" and that infuriated me - I replied, "I knew you would try to turn it around onto me, sorry, bye" and hung up. Now I know that hanging up isn't nice, but it was either that or I would've told him exactly what I think of him and his bullshit. I probably would've said something like I'm sure if you needed to make a call about the orchestra, you'd remember to do that. Obviously we all know where your fucking priorities lie, seeing as you missed your only daughter's wedding for one of their bloody rehearsals. See? Hanging up was probably the better option, although I think I'd be justified in saying that to him because it's clearly true.
He emailed me on Tuesday, apologizing for not calling and saying he would try to be better about calling me when he says he will. I replied and said that I was sorry for hanging up on him, but I was very upset. I basically repeated what I'd said on the phone. He replied again, saying that he really misses me and it's really hard for him knowing he won't see me much now that I'm living in the US. He said he was glad that hubby and I are so happy together. The whole thing sounded very final to me, and I guess it was because even though I wrote back that same day he still hasn't been in touch again. I wrote that I missed him too, and that I've been here 6 months now and although I'm very happy with hubby it hasn't been easy for me all the time, and it does feel as though a lot of people have forgotten about me in those 6 months. I also tried to make some "conversation" writing about his dog and our dogs. I don't want to be petty, but since I was the last person to make contact I think he should be the next one to do so, by email or phone or whatever. I also don't really want to make the call myself, and since my last email went unreturned I'm loathe to email him. If he really does miss me, surely his actions would reflect that. If you miss someone that much, you must think about them occasionally and you'd think that you'd make the effort to do what you said you would.
So, I don't know what the situation is now. I don't know what to think anymore. I think I just have to get on with my life, and if he doesn't want to be a part of it now then I'll just have to accept that.
A week ago I spoke to one of my good friends, R, on Skype. She couldn't believe his attitude - that's to say, she believes it, but she's also shocked by it! She doesn't understand why he would act this way either. I told her that I think he resents me for leaving the UK, and I also told her how he's always accused me of "being stupid" whenever I've done anything. One example is that we booked our wedding at the end of May last year, for the middle of October. At the time we booked it, I hadn't had my visa interview, but things were moving along with the whole thing and we went ahead and set the date because we'd already chosen the venue we wanted and they didn't have many dates left so we wanted to secure one. Also, it meant people would have adequate notice and be able to make arrangements to come to our wedding if they wanted to. I phoned him to let him know and he basically told me I was stupid for setting a date before I got my visa. He then spent the next 2 months being incredibly negative about the visa and saying that I might not get it. I knew there was a chance of being denied, of course, but we didn't have any "red flags" in our case and I thought the chances of a denial were slim. Guess what? I got my visa. I was also in the US 6 whole weeks before our wedding. I think my dad was 'secretly' hoping that I would be refused the visa. It's not so much of a fucking secret when he made it pretty damn obvious that he wanted me to be refused it. I don't want to be awful because I know it must be hard for parents if their child emigrates, but my mom made it clear she would miss me but also that she was incredibly happy for me too. She told me the day before I left that she knew I was doing the right thing, that she would really miss me but she knew hubby would take good care of me and that he's a lovely guy. My dad wasn't exactly so selfless. If he wants to get into an argument about me effectively choosing my hubby over him (which is pretty ridiculous) then he can go and look at his own actions when he got with my stepmom, and how he believed every single lie about me that came out of her mouth. I chose to take a chance, a risk if you like, by emigrating to a whole different continent, 5,500 miles away from where I'd lived my entire life. I knew it was the right thing to do, but it wasn't easy to leave everyone and everything behind either. Some may view my actions as selfish, but those people can get stuffed quite frankly. It was selfish of certain people to make me feel guilty for my decision to start a new life and be happy, in my opinion.
